My mom has no intention of to bring her suffering to all your pawrents. Concerning you to skip as well. You have no need, we do understand you completely.
My blog is always telling my stories since I first met her and will continue to do so. It was very personal. It's her tremendous pain. It's only for some friends who are okay to deal with this sensitive topic. * Comments are off *
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August 12, 2023 : The day I died
My death brought so much grief to my mom. All she wants is...
to spend more time with me. She kissed me and hugged me as if I was alive. She hugged me as long as she could but time is crucial. Body without soul turning stiff very easily after one hour after bathed, dried and combed me. My body started to getting hard it was very difficult to bend. No matter how much my mom wanted to continue to hug me. She had to get over it and prepared my body to be fit in the freezer before my organs are breaking down. Especially we live in a hot humid climate. We planed to stay one last night together. No choice for mom she had too quickly prepare my body for cremation.
Puddy's eyes couldn't be closed.
Mom did a good job. I looked as if I were alive and just sleep.
My fur was still soft and silky
She put some fresh nip and bamboo leaves for me
because she know I love them.
At night mom often opened a door and talked to me.
A tiny magnet in front of a freezer door
Once mom put me inside a freezer and shut a door, and all of a sudden, she cried badly once she saw a little magnet in front of a door. She got this tiny magnet long time ago from her little sister. She really love it because it's tuxedo kitty. My mom has long distance eyesight so she often didn't see it because it's so tiny.
It was ironic. it looks exactly the same as the way she just put me in a box and in the freezer. My mom has never thought she have to put me in there. She cried heavily.
This freezer is going to haunt her. Telling her how she spent one last night with me.
She couldn't sleep. She thought all over about what was happened then she realized. When I passed away on hospital bed. She didn't put me in my carrier as she normally does but put me inside a car straight away next to her seat. My carrier went before me because it was a mess with my stinky pee and crumbs. She did call me home when she was carrying me but it was unusual thing we do after we visited a hospital.
In Thailand, most people do believe once soul leaves a body. Your family have to call the soul. Telling him/her to go home with you. Otherwise the spirit will wander around in nowhere. he/she will be lost there.
Mom got my body but she was not sure about my soul. Because she couldn't feel me. ( She had some experiences )
She started to get paranoid for no reasons. She keeps asking me to show her some signs... whatever signs ! ...To confirmed her I was home with her. It can be ...meow, purrs, walked with my nails, do the litter box, anything... Anythings
Quiet.... Nothing happens.
Mom was under her delusion because of grief and fear.
She set alarm clock at 4.10 am. and planed to go back to hospital with my carrier to call me back. It was going to be a huge embarrassment but she did not care. She wants to be sure I am home with my body and soul. No wonder around in nowhere.
If I not show her any signs of being home , mom absolutely stuck with her insane plan.
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August 13, 2023 : Cremation
My mom's words :
' Before my alarm clock on, Puddy come to let me know I don’t need to go to hospital to get him again.
He is here .. he made two scratches at my door. I woke up but I didn’t open my eyes. I hold his pillow as if I hugged him. I pet him as I usually do. I told him today it’s going to be a traumatized day for him. I told him our schedule and what is cremation.
' It's going to be very scary experience for you, Puddy...It's going to be really hot. Don’t be scared, okay ? It might look like you are burning to hell but it's not. Its just the way your body turns into another form. The form of one being is returning to nature. To 5 elements : Earth, Water, Fire, Wind and Space. '
' Puddy, you have to wait there till a process finishes. Don’t go anywhere. Once you turned yourself to be ashes and bones, mommy is going to put you in an urn and we are going home together. I love you forever and I love you as always. Thanks to come to my life, thanks for brought me so much joy , thanks to be with me till this time, thanks to help me go through difficulties in life. Thanks to save me, my boy. My Puddy boy. I love you to the moon back and forward. You always be my sunshine whenever I think about you. I miss you my dear boy. You are the best cat in the world for mommy. You are one of the best things ever happened in my life. Love you very much, Puddy Boy '
"When the time has come,
A cremator couldn't turn on the oven for 15 min.
Well, I was scared as hell even I already dead ! ''
~ Puddy in an oven at 7.45 am. August 13, 2023
..................
Puddy : September 3, 2008 - August 12, 2023 ( 14 years old )
I was home now. Mom put my ashes & bones in this container because she thought it was beautiful just like me I'm a beautiful boy who bright up her life for 13 years. She picked a biscuit tin because it's not easy to break and she can hug me. Yeah... She is a nut case at this point.
My first real time, I met my mom was late January 2010. I was her neighbour cat, I was a cat visitor. Mom started my first blog as ' Everyday Visitor ' on June 27, 2010 because of me. Obviously, she fall for me badly.
I love you, mom even you couldn't see me as before. And I knew you love me very much. Try not to cry, mom. Nothing you have to worry about me. I'm good. I am with all my kitties friends who went before me. I will watch over you from rainbow bridge or may be from my remains.
Thanks so much to all friends. To every single of you !
All your comments are greatly overwhelming. Thanks from a bottom of our heart for every comments you did for me and for my mom. In my blog or FB. It means a lots to us.
To Carolyn Retallick :
Your special request has accepted but I don't think it will be so soon. You still have a serious obligation with Mr. Poo. My advice " You stuck with that ! ", Don't you dare fear a future not yet come "
To Cecilia and Angel Madi : Me and mom love what you do with my name. It's really beautiful and make my mom has an emotional cry. She is really appreciated.
P urrfect Tuxie MAN from head to toe
U were loved to the moon and back
D arling adventurous
D elightful commentary on your blog
Y ou gave all who knew you reasons to SMILE
To Mark's Mews
Thanks so much to share your grief with mom. She was crying hard for your great grief too. Hugs to you.
Lots of love as always
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xox
Puddy Boy
